i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
