Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just forgot I was standing up.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
