i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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