Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
