Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
