have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
