this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
