I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
