He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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