you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We need to rekindle our bromance
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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