i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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