She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I got inside last night via doggy door
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
