can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
