3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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