I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
