Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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