Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize