he thought i was a dude.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
