Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
