It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
