I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
