also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
