DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
