Redeem this text for a blowjob
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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