There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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