sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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