Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have feelings that need drinking.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
