I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize