Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
