windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
