This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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