so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
