I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
