My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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