can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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