There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize