were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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