So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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