i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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