I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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