am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
