So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
