can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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