garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
