Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
