yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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