its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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