But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
