we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The air taste purple.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
