What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
