But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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