the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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