Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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