you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
