I wish I could punch you in the face.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
