Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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