I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
