Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize