real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize