Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
