What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
is that a dick in a sweater?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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