Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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