It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
