I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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