May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
