they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
