I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
