Are we in a gay sports bar?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
