I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
