I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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