Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
