One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
