never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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