Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
